Monday, May 4, 2009

Fun Run? By Kevin Farnsworth

Well I bought new running shoes tonight. I must say it's kind of like buying a really cool toy for your kids on christmas eve and then realizing, oh no, now I have to put the dang thing together. Then it goes from being a really cool toy to hell on earth. This is kind of how I feel about my new shoes. The idea was great! I stared at those beautiful blue trimmed sneakers, displayed so proudly on the shelf of the shoe store. Could it be destiny? I mean, they were half off and perfect in every way. I picked up the shoe and turned it over in my hand, feeling the meshy fabric that would allow my feet to breathe as they triumphed gracefully through the streets and up the hills. I anxiously tried them on and was relieved to find that they were a perfect fit. I proudly paced across the floor and did lunges down the aisle. People stared, probably because they were amazed at my awesomeness. The decision had been made and the shoes were purchased. Everything was going superb, until we arrived home. I heard a voice in my head saying, Kevin guess what moron, now you have to run, isn't that fun! No, there is no such thing as a fun run, I hate running. When I run I feel like my lungs for some strange reason are trying to get to the outside of my body via my throat which makes it extremely hard to breathe, and breathing is absolutely necessary if you are going to be able to keep running or live for that matter. I was reminded of a church movie where this boy carries a rattlesnake to the top of the mountain against his better judgment and even with the promise the snake makes not to bite him. Alas, when he got to the top of the mountain and let the snake down he was promptly bitten and as the snake slithered away he uttered these words, "You knew what I was when you picked me up." That sums up how I feel about my new running shoes, they sat there at the store all beautiful, hiding there true selfs and there true purpose from me. As I sat at home staring at my shoes on my bed, I think I heard them say, "You knew what I was when you picked me up." So, I guess I have no one to blame but myself.

6 comments:

miss marie said...

hey, kevin? remember when people were staring at you as you lunged down the aisles? they were TOTALLY staring at your awesomeness. wishing they were as cool (or something like that). congrats on running -- you farnsworths are getting all healthful on us lately. weird.

Tink said...

So True!! You should convince Jon to join you. And me for that matter! We could use a little exercise!

Saddie and Levi said...

That's funny Kevin. Deathblade buddies for life.

Dansie Family said...

but running isn't evil. it is actually good for you and once you get passed the few months it becomes enjoyable.

Tink said...

Kevin that is freakin funny. I am scared to death of running shoes they are pure evil only with laces. So I wish you luck maybe you can wear them out super quick in fact I would make that a personal goal. I suggest lots of mud puddles.
ps this is Jon not Tink

Dayna said...

Wow you have a hidden talent..I never knew you could write and you are good at it too! You must pratice writing in between free lunches at local banks and businesses...lol!